When Blogging Goes Wrong: Writing About Men The Men You Date

DATEWe’ve all been here. We get that sudden surge of motivation and promise ourselves that we’ll be more consistent with blog posting – “Starting next week I’m going to post twice a week!” We stick to our new schedule (and are very proud of ourselves for keeping our word) until something comes up… An unexpected date with a new love interest (“I’ll blog as soon as I get home”) or happy hour with the girls (“I needed this drank, I’ll blog tomorrow.) Just like that your regularly scheduled blog postings have fallen to the wayside. Sound familiar? *Raises hand meekly*

While I regret not sticking to my own posting schedule (because…. LIFE) I wouldn’t consider this my biggest blog regret. My biggest regret blogging is writing about men that I’m dating and having them find out about IT!

Regret #1: I shared my feelings about the guy that I was dating on my blog AND on ForHarriet.com before sharing my feelings with him. I didn’t divulge personal diary worthy information about him, but I talked about my issues with his height. I regret that I didn’t talk to him about it first because it came back to bite me in the proverbial ass. When he asked me if I had any issues dating him despite his height (I’m 5’7” without heels and he’s 5’9”) I told him that I didn’t, but in reality I did because I love my 3” and 4” heels. He wound up discovering my blog by looking at my Facebook page and confronted me about my words. I was able to smooth things over with him, but the entire ordeal left a sour taste in his mouth and I cannot say that I blame him.

Regret #2: I talked about a good date that I had with another gentleman and expressed my confusion for not getting an invite for a second date since we both enjoyed the first date. Again, this gentleman stumbled upon my blog by happenstance; I commented on another popular blog and he noticed my icon. He clicked on the icon and noticed my blog in its entirety – *insert stunned face here.*What made it worse was the the most recently published piece was about our first and last date! He wound up writing a long drawn out comment which I approved since it wasn’t mean-spirited and I responded offline. I felt foolish, again I’d shared something with my readers first without sharing my feelings with the subject of that blog post. You would think that I learned my lesson the first time, right?

With each regret/mistake comes a lesson. I’ve learned that in blogging you have to find the perfect balance between divulging too much information and sharing just enough so that your readers still find you to be transparent, personable, and relatable. I’ve learned to not keep my blog private with people that I meet or date. I lay it out on Front Street that I am a writer and a lifestyle blogger – letting them know that I write about my life making it a point to maintain anonymity at all times. It’s a courtesy and disclaimer in one. While I no longer discuss intricate feelings about the men that I’m dating without talking to them about it first, I do share incidental “chuckle worthy” stories about dating because some things just need to be shared.

With each post I become a better blogger. I am still working on the perfect balance and for that I have no regrets.

What has been your biggest regret as a blogger?

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  • It is so interesting that you had these reactions from the men when I know bloggers that post mostly about the men they go on dates with and the men must not find their blogs or perhaps the blogger doesn’t say anything. It is always difficult to decide where to draw the line and how much to say in regards to personal relationships with people because as a lifestyle blogger you usually blog about your LIFE and the people in it. Maybe I am bias because I am a blogger too, but as long as you didn’t write a guy’s full government name, job location and a picture I don’t see it as such a big deal. You were probably looking for opinions from others about the dates and didn’t mean any harm to these guys. However, I think it is smart of you to tell men from now on that you do write about your life online and don’t be surprised if they see something about them on there (or ask them if they would prefer you don’t write about them)

    Good luck :)


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