4 Ways To Build Blogging Relationships

blogging relationshipsI’m nobody’s guru, but I know a thing or two. At least that’s how it seemed when this message floated into my inbox today:

“I’ve noticed you have a great relationship with some great bloggers. How did you form those connections? I’m an introvert, so reaching out to folk is not my forte. But I’d be a fool to ignore its importance.”

First, let me state that I loathe the way introverts are exploited in the writing world. Fear not though, this is not another “10 Things You Need To Know About Parking Next To An Introvert” type of article. This here is for everyone who wants to know how to build community in blog land, introverts included.

Before we start though, I cannot stress enough, the importance of authenticity. In each of these steps, your realness is key!

Use your superpower.

Bloggers, rep your set all day! But, whether you pledge allegiance to the introverted or the extroverted cohort, you all have the same superpower. It’s a subtle power (word to Bey). Writing is your secret weapon and the most fundamental and essential way to build community as a blogger. I’m an introvert myself, and, at first, I wasn’t intentional about building relationships, I was just writing, doing me. Writing authentically is the best way to build connections. How else will other bloggers get to know the true you? Write your little butt off! Submit posts to other blogs and promote your own. Just write, write, write!


Before we go there, turn to your neighbor and say, “Neighbor! I’m not trying to make friends!” Flattery makes friends. Posting a simple, flattering compliment may make a friend, but that’s not what we’re looking for. We’re trying to build a community. We want rooted relationships. I only comment when I truly feel moved to do so. It’s part of being authentic. If I don’t really care about a post, it shows. When I actually do leave comments, I make ‘em meaty. Comments like “nice post” or “great outfit” aren’t going to garner any real relationships. Shoot, you may not even get a page view from that. Save the 140 characters or less for twitter. When you comment, say what compelled you to do so. Include the whats and whys in your comment. Most importantly, keep it real. Absolutely no flattery.


Once I became intentional about building community of real blogger relationships, I found like-minded bloggers with goals equal to or bigger than mine and supported the hell out of them. I supported them the way I would want to be supported. Authentic support is invaluable. If you can be there physically, show up. If you show up, participate. If you have the ducats, donate. If they’re calling for submissions, get to typing. If they’re tweeting sad somethings at 3:00 AM, flood them with heart emojis. Again, authenticity is key here, you’re only exhausting yourself if you don’t truly believe in this blogger’s cause.

Reach out: from URL to IRL.

At some point, you’ll want to meet all of your fave URLs in real life. Then, you’ll wake up one day and realize you’ve had sleepovers, dinner, coffee, and car rides with the people who run the blogs you only scrolled through months ago. The only way to get to real life friend status is to reach out. Start with a tweet or an e-mail. Honestly, if you’ve mastered steps 1-3, reaching out will only seem like the next step in the natural progression of things. So, hold your breath, count to 3, and send that DM or e-mail. It will be worth your while!

What are some other ways that you all build communal relationships in blog land? Tweet me @eversoroco or leave your answers in the comments below!

  • This is why I’m starting to join organizations such as this one. This is a real weak spot of mine and I’m trying to get better. Thanks for the advice :)

  • Gina

    I am very anti-social and rarely initiate conversation of any sort, but after reading this I find it important to break away from that behavior if I want my blog to thrive. Time to initiate some of these tips. Thanks a bunch

  • Tynisha Taylor

    reading this just made me more excited about starting my blog {thank you}. I am very out going in person but when it comes to writing or even making comment under someone’s post I get nervous.

  • Thank ya! I always enjoy your comments, Kayla!

  • Thank you!! = )

  • These are all great tips! I look at building blogger relationships as I do with face to face relationships as just being myself. It’s all about being authentic to me and I think you hit the hammer on the nail with the “Commenting” tip. When I leave comments they normally look like paragraphs because in real life I can talk lol. I want the blogger to know I read their content, thoroughly enjoyed it and here’s why. I totally agree about not being afraid to go in depth when you leave comments. I know for me, I love leaving footprints on blogs I visited and ask for others to leave theirs behind as well. I believe it builds a great presence.


  • I enjoy Twitter chats. It allows me to randomly talk to people without feeling awkward. One of your chats was actually the first I participated in. Also I force myself to attend local Natural hair meet-ups in my city. I moved to a large city last year and remind myself daily not to waste such opportunities. I recently went to an event by Creme of Nature and was then contacted by two other local bloggers/photographers who saw me there to participate in a networking event. I’m nervous but committed to breaking out of my shell.

  • Thanks Laci! :) Awesome Awesome Awesome! Currently enjoying your blog :)

  • Laci Jordan

    Love this! Your tone is amazing! I’m definitely going to follow those steps and make sure to interact with bloggers. Good shit!



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